Tuesday, October 3, 2017

The sayings, world should probably stop saying.

Do you know what used to be the dank Meme for my Grandpa and his squad? The fudging idioms and proverbs that usually meant to speak a lot in single lines, which slowly diced my life in small pieces.

Because with all due respect, most of them were actually real kingpins of literature, but the others just broke pandemonium of the little tickle able brain, because they were actually NOT RELATABLE at all. And because I had a cool Grandpa, who taught me plenty of those, here in I present, the worst sayings of all time. (Basically Spoof)

“When in Rome, do as the Romans”

Why Bro? Roman didn’t do chopsticks in China, you know why? Because they freaking COULDN’T. And 21st century, and everybody has internet and globalization, so maybe the Roman gets I’m just brought up different.
And Spoiler Alert, do you know what do we call people who keep changing themselves? The answer is not the cross dressers, the answer is Hypocrites.

“No man is an island”

The assigned comebacks of the society Aunties, who keep saying I must socialize. But you know what, I am not an island, Island is under-rated. I am a god-dammed Nation of my own, and I have my own priorities. And if a man never was an island on his own, what are your thoughts about Isla Nublar?
You don’t really know what it is. Yes, get a life Aunty!

“Birds of a feather flock together”
(Source: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/405840-ed-edd-n-eddy)

Well do they? Maybe birds do, but humans clearly don’t. Only the place where similar humans exists with each other is an office space. And that doesn’t make them similar. I have always have had in his mind, in response to this one liner, “A man’s thought is his wings, not his hands. They are just forelimbs.” So judging a man by his profession, is like killing the human inside him. And my friends are not clones of each other, the best part of our gang, is that we all are different, so shut up.

“A picture is worth a thousand words”

And what do you think about the fake pout, Sir? Did you bother considering it? I guess no. The world has taught me enough, that words might turn their pace and defy the intentions, but PICTURES! They are the biggest treacheries of all time. Pictures do not say a thousand words, because I can replace a thousand and eighty pixelled photograph of a bimbo and can replace it with one word. FAKE.
Meanwhile get the picture reference? You're Welcome.

“An early bird catches the worm”
(Source: http://www.dumpaday.com/funny-pictures/funny-pictures-day-101-pics-4/attachment/early-bird-gets-the-worm/)

Oh I totally agree with this one. Apart from the fact we are actually eagles, and we dine whenever we want to. And I betcha, I begin 8 minutes earlier than Usain Bolt and yet he beats me like an insect, because quality is what that matters, not how early you began.

“Cleanliness is next to godliness”


 Oh sure, I’m so god like because my sheets aren’t dirty? So you mean I can get away with that murder in front of your god, if I keep Vanish along. Man this is whole new level of cheat codes. Next what? I steal your money and clean my shoes and I am just saved? Ironically, thank god we are Seculars. No shits.

“Familiarity breeds contempt”
(Source: https://imgflip.com/tag/wars?sort=latest&page=11)

How do you even have friends, Bro? Maybe you don’t, because familiarity doesn’t breed contempt, it breeds understanding. And if you dislike people once you get to know them, are you really willing to know them? Because people have issues, and people suffer for that, maybe you too. That doesn’t mean you would take it as a contempt. Unless they are actually you.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”


Again, What Hypocrisy did rule back in time maybe. Because, it is totally unacceptable if Steve Rogers joins Hydra. I aint’t saying he wouldn’t, I said, it’s unacceptable. Because, once you join them, you are choking the last breathing probability to even win.
Listen to me, don’t join ‘em, keep working, you would surely beat ‘em by next millennial.

“Might is Right”
(Source: https://imgflip.com/memegenerator/41283394/I-am-Groot)

So who makes decisions for you? WunWun! Because I deny accepting power to be ultimate righteous entity. Not today, not in democracy. The right is right, doesn’t mean if it comes from the mighty of the dwarf. And a wise man once said, “A very small man can caste a very large shadow.” So if you are good enough to stand for the right, the mighty HAS to bow.

“All publicity is good publicity”

(Source: https://www.askideas.com/40-most-funny-donald-trump-memes-that-will-make-you-laugh/)

Really? Even after we have Donald Trump and Gurmeet Ram Rahim?

At a point of life, I just wanted these to be removed from existential history, and replace them with new ones.
But maybe we don’t need new ones maybe we just need some twists, because by the end of the day,


Monday, September 18, 2017

An Introduction of Ambiverts to the world.

What does Ambivert mean already?
We are often called Chameleons, freaks and Sometimes Bipolar, which is totally another serious issue. In the little shuffle in our mediocre brain, You could say ambiverts are the Decimals in the world full of Binary. The crappy logical people in the town of Believers.

Although most people think, we are neither an introvert nor an extrovert; I tend to think its flipped. I think we are actually both. We are introverts in the group of extroverts and extroverts in the group of introverts.

Basically even we didn't know, that we existed before Carl Jung came into action. So no issues if you don't get us. Sometimes, we are complex to ourselves as well. And we get judged, Man we get judged big time. And we are buddies with the people who judge us.

So what happens in your life that makes you an ambivert?

The school typically eats up your mind.

Recess TV Series | Tj Detweiler Recess
(Source: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/545217098612496029/?lp=true)

You can never be a part of one kind of people. So you have friends everywhere. You dont belong to one specific group, but you are buddies with one sample product from every team. You dont enclose yourself in a limit. Being a typo is your biggest fear.

You are crazy and you are a maniac.


Those shy friends of yours think you are great at making friends, and chatter all the time like a chirping bird. The extroverts think you are just rude, and always just so irritated. While you actually read people in masses. But you can never just take off, even if you dont like them much.

Just a Mediocre, what you are.....


You have done many things, and you like most of those many things, but you keep switching yourself. From Quantum Physics to Shakespeare, you have been knowing it all, but never in details (unless it's Harry Potter). You are not even lazy in details.

Arts and maths are same beans

(Source: https://www.pinterest.ca/explore/funny-math-jokes/?lp=true)

You dont really get how Art and Mathematics are different. Both of them are equally tricky minute and brain sucking. Because you have been scared of both and you have somehow dealt with both and maybe conquered both as well.

Hands-on everything

(Source: https://me.me/t/rod-stewart?s=new)

Even though you manage to be known out of the crowds, nobody knows how to actually treat you. Like that extremely naughty reckless kid. Or straight outta Hum Sath Sath hai kinda Sanskari kid. Because you can be both whenever you want to. And what situation wants you to be.

We can cope with all the kinds

(Source: https://www.pinterest.ca/explore/chandler-friends/?lp=true)

  We dont need to take sides, we understand both sides. the left and the right and the extremities are sarcastic to us. We can be with people irrespective of the differences, we can love Joey and Ross at the same freaking time. (Because we are basically miniature Chandlers!) .

Always the guy on hold.


You are never the best choice around, and that is what makes you the best. There would always be a better one, a better girl, a better employee, a better sibling, a better dancer. But no one in this world has the exact compositions of yours.

And all these might not seem extremely pleasant, but pleasant doesnt excite you that much. Too pleasant makes it Futile. And the world should know, the perfect person, is so accurate, that he would never accidentally pour that Chemical X.

(Source: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1106486-dank-memes)

So hey, we are kind of a cool people.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Awkward Side.....

Creating an impression is one thing, and owning a baggage of Charisma is another. An elusive impression may fade away with time (because being pretentious is never permanent) and then there is a mystique that eventually gathers eyes around you.

So there are extremely attractive people, who are noticeable just by simply existing in the goddamn mediocre world. Then there are moderate people who are noticeable not only for their appearance but for their allured persona.

So What is the problem?

The problem is Social Anxiety. The problem of running out of words on the very distinctive time. Been there, done that.

So here are 5 rules, that would probably help you deal with these awkward situations in life.

1: Start it yourself

(Source: http://rebloggy.com/post/louis-tomlinson-harry-styles-one-direction-love-zayn-malik-liam-payne-niall-hora/37160652751)

I have been prone to social anxiety as well, and I know it can be recovered. Begin the conversation. Give a big wide smile, and speak. Rather than asking for their names, or how they were doing begin with, "Where are you from?". This question has a higher probability of having a precisely detailed answer. Then ask about family, people love talking about their families in India still.

2: Skip the small talk

(Source: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3srf90)

I know it takes Apocalypse to skip a small talk unless the command is in your hand. So spill the beans about little personal things. Like if someone asks you about your profession. Don't just start giving details about your company, it creates a halo.  You could rather say, "I am an Engineer by the morning and a Meme philosopher by the nights." This would make you relatable to people.

3: Convince without convincing

(Source: https://imgflip.com/i/r644t)

Debates are necessary. It always creates a bigger area to think. But, whenever you are around such debates; over convincing people to actually agree to your opinion, just make your aspect sound more logical. And never force that on anybody. Just make it a better option, with salient proof and moderate voice.

4: Please yourself

(Source: http://memeshappen.com/meme/unicorn-man/always-be-yourself-unless-you-can-be-a-unicorn-then-be-a-unicorn-45225)

Talk what you want to talk about. And be honest, straight to your opinion. Ask the guy/girl you like, if they would go out with you. At least you won't be reading their secret gestures for the rest of your lives. This is the only way you could speak yourself out to somebody. Nothing to pretend....
That easy!

5: You will survive 

(Source: http://en.webfail.com/a33afccacbe)

We do a massive thinking out about what happens if the tricks don't work. What if you actually open up, tell them about your plans, and they just nod? What if you ask out your crush, and they eventually say no? The thing is this embarrassment won't last forever. It would pass anyway. And whatever happens, at least you would be out of that invisible bubble you created around yourself. 

I can't promise if you would succeed in every stage every time. Sure you'll fail, Its Life bruh! But I bet, you would be remembered. Remembered by everybody.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Why is Cringe Pop still a thing

The world could have been a better place without Cringe Pop, but the world would never be contemptuous enough. Because, every time another, “pen pineapple apple pen” comes up, we enjoy it, we hate it, disguise it, but we still do enjoy it. Because, deep inside, it might not be that bad. Well no! Maybe I deny it.

But I am not here to enlist the best or worst cringe pop countdown. But I am here to explain, why cringe pop is actually more famous than the actual good kind of music. And that unveils a great deal about our own mind. Don’t just look at me with disguise; these lines are not cringing enough. In fact,  it’s pretty normal.
Image result for Pikotaro memes

(Source: https://me.me/t/pen-pineapple?s=new)

So, what do you actually feel, when you watch something like “Hero Alom”? 
You create a sudden point of an impression of yourself? “Man! I am much better. I can sing better and I can dance better and I can look better." You feel good about yourself, and you already know that person behind your screen is an utter disguise, you share it with your friends, and now you both laugh, about that awkward creature.
Until you don’t!                      

  Image result for dhinchak pooja memes

You suddenly hate them, because their music has captivated your brain, and you realise you are already humming them. And you now openly criticise them, curse them and try to deny their existence. But by the end of the day, you can’t help but realise, those people are actually better than you. More rich, more famous, more confident. And that is because; YOU shared that to your friends.

(Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2016/08/29/heres-your-handy-list-of-18-songs-that-you-can-use-to-torture-a_a_21460579/)

But this is not the best part of Cringe pop yet.

The best part is its cringe worthy. It is so stupid, that is stupider than your stupidest friend. And even the smartest friend of your agree on your stupidest friend. So it connects everybody. And everybody connects to it. Because Lucifer forbids me, I don’t understand what “Gangnam Style” is. But don’t we all dance to it.

I know it takes a near death experience to realise; cringe pop is actually more intelligent than what you actually think.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

A big problem for Banarasis is about to end!

Because Paan is not just a craving or a practice, it is a pride for a Banarasi. And it tastes so good and so different and so royal that nothing could ever match, it was painful to hear people criticise about the gem.

When they said, “Eh! Mai paan waan ni khata”, apologies, “Hum paan waan nahi khate. ”, I would seriously judge them.
But there were circumstances, why I could not actually debate.

Because some Paan lovers forgot, Paan was with Banaras and Banaras was with Paan, and they kept creating Graffities around every possible place. And, honestly, they were ugly to me too; the real admirer of Paan.
And these phenomena were not unknown to anybody. Paan lovers kept painting the city over and over and over and over and over.
And the colors kept changing from blood red to maroon to dark brown to brown and painted again and again.
Maybe not anymore.....
Under the Clean India Campaign, the Betel spitting will be charged 500 bucks, but, no charges for consumption of Paan.
Maybe few people could afford 500 rupees, for a spit, but not everyone.
But since it’s just a new rule, and Banarasi’s are basically ninjas, when it comes to breaking them. I could just hope this formulates a change.

Otherwise, Kudos over the Paan.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Why Me?

Why me!
I’m sure somewhere or other you asked yourself, oh god! ‘Why me’! When having a stressful day, or when a lot of things go wrong — perhaps seriously wrong — all at one time, many people ask themselves the question, “Why me?” Or, “Why is this happening”? This question arises when you think you are the most unlucky person struggling to survive in this world.

When we ask this question?

These are certain scenarios when we say ‘why me’!
When we are in the middle of the bath and water went out.
When you are on a date with your girl friend, and your bike went shut in the middle of the road.
When you reach your examination hall just a minute before it begins, but you realize you forget            your admit card at home.(dead inside)
When you come fully prepared with chemistry but the exam is of maths.
When you get diagnosed by a serious disease. 
When you lose a person who is very close to your heart.
When you get punished for the crime you haven’t committed.

What are the reasons behind this question?

It’s the sign of negativity. It also showcases our pessimistic approach towards life. It’s simple, when we expect something good but it turns up as a disappointment, with all are emotional breakdown we curse our life and ask ‘why me’! When we are full of anger, annoyance, vexation and irritation we exactly don’t understand what to do we simply cry my lord ‘why me’! This situation leads to frustration because it’s very heart-rending to comprehend everything around you getting wrong.

Never lose hope

There are several personalities who dealt with all the difficulties and reached the height of glory but never asked god… ‘why me’!
Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam – a man belong to a very poor family became the  President of India well         know as missile man.
Yuvraj Singh – a very well known Indian cricketer defeated lung cancer and made a comeback           in the team.
Stephen Hawking – The most brilliant scientist suffer from rare motor neuron disease, is well             known in the field of Astronomy.
Eminem- best rapper in the world and his success story is well known to everyone. 

How can we deal with it?

So, now we know why we ask this question. This generally happens when we lack self-confidence. You should believe in yourself. We should try to understand that whatever happens, happen for some reason which we get to know later.
Instead of crying on what is written in the stars one should prepare oneself for the worst case scenario. Not every time you can control what is happening around you but as an alternative you can train yourself, how to deal with it. For positivity, instead of crying ‘why me’ with joyful smile say it loud ‘Try me!’

Saturday, September 2, 2017

5 Books That you should be reading.

There are two kinds of people in the universe, first are the people who read, second are the people who don't deserve breathing.
So rather than creating any sort of furor, I chose to ignore them entirely.

But when it comes to reading, there is already so much, that sometimes newbies get awe-stricken a bit.
So here I present, 

5: Perks of Being a Wallflower

Image result for perks of being a wallflower book
(Source : https://www.readanybook.com/ebook/the-perks-of-being-a-wallflower-565337)

Charlie is 15 wrecked, introverted and prone to panic attacks, after extremely tragic deaths of his aunt and a friend.
The story takes place with, Charlie eventually becoming be friends with final year seniors Sam and her gay step brother Patrick. And how their presence changed Charlies perspective of living.
The book gives a great deal of love, friendship, and depression.

4: To kill a Mockingbird
Image result for to kill a mockingbird
(Source: https://www.splcenter.org/news/2010/07/02/what-kill-mockingbird-means-me)

Some of you might have read it in school, but we didnt, and when I read it became one of my favorites.
Jean Luis Finch narrated imperative subjects like rape, racism, and belief as a child of second grade. Luis, her brother Jem and Dill a friend of them, mock Boo Radley, a neighbor who lived near their place.
Soon her father Atticus defends a Black man accused of rape being a lawyer. And with all the hate, Atticus Finch rewrites heroism with new set of words
Harper Lee intelligently decorated Maycomb at the times of great depression.

3: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

 Image result for hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy book
(Source: http://ycjianguo.com/hitchhikers-guide-galaxy/)

Being the first book of the trilogy, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy remains to be the most famous and the most hilarious of the rest.

Douglas Adams writes how Arthur Dent the protagonist, discovers his best mate Ford Prefect is an alien and warns him about the world's end.
The book has the camaraderie of science and an amazingly imperfect tour.
This one can actually turn non-readers into muggers.

2 : The Catcher in the Rye
Image result for catcher of rye book
(Source: http://www.snugglyoranges.com/2014/09/book-review-the-catcher-in-the-rye-by-j-d-salinger/)

It is the Young Adult fiction before Young Adult was cool.

This novel from 1951 is the verse of Holden Caulfield, a 16-year-old teenage boy who is in a psychotic care.
The story reveals how Caulfield, being not the most Sapient guy, revealing the reasons for his conditions.
J.D Salinger created Holden in all the shades, from being trashed after his brothers death to being uncanny about being expelled and revealing his parents about being a failure along with his bond with his sister Phoebe and being a misunderstood teenager, Salinger typically created all of us in a burning time.

Honorable Mentions( More of famous mentions)

  • The Song of Ice and fire 
  • Harry Potter  (Like obviously)
  •  The Lord of the rings (Well....) 
  • The Great Gatsby The Alchemist. 
  • The Fault in our stars. 

1 : Schindler's Arc/ Schindler's List
Image result for schindlers list book
(Source: http://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Schindlers-List/Thomas-Keneally/9780671880316)

I must mention, the United States version calls it Schindlers List, and this is the popular name of this book.  The heart-wrenching book by Thomas Keneally was actually convinced to him by Leopold Pfefferbag a Jewish, Austro-Hungarian man. The story revolves around a Czech manufacturer, Oskar Schindler.
Being a rich German speaker, Oskar lived a contented life in the age of World War II. But with the multiple experiences of killing. Schindler began sheltering the Jewish Refugees at his workplace and helped 1200 of them to escape. The book also covers a post war sequence that sums Schindlers life up.
The book has absolutely no areas to skip, and dotes the readers till the end.  And Keneally has won Booker's prize for this Book as well.

What Now?

 It's a great deal of binge reading already, don't just stay here, go get the books. 
Image result for harry potter gif meme
(Source: http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/15-hilarious-harry-potter-gifs-1 )

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

एक प्राचीन शहर बनारस

  :­-  नमन श्रीधर
वाराणसी कहें या कहें बनारस , हर बार जब भी इस शहर का नाम सुनाई देता  है, तब हमारे दिमाग में गंगा के घाट , काशी  विश्वनाथ मंदिर , और यहाँ का वर्ल्ड फेमस पान याद आता है|                              
 इसे  प्राचीन शहर और भगवान शिव कि नगरी काशी के नाम से जाना जाता है , पर क्या आप जानते है कि आखिर ये शहर है कितना पुराना ? वाराणसी कि प्राचीनता से जुड़े कई  मिथ और मान्यताएँ  मौजूद है|

  चलिए जानते है ये कहानियाँ


(शिव महापुराण) के अनुसार
कई मान्यताओं में से एक भगवान शिव से जुड़ी है एक बार कि बात है जब  भगवान ब्रहमा ने शिव जी से  झूठ बोला था जिससे क्रोधित होकर उन्होंने ब्रहमा जी का पांचवा  सर  काट  दिया था |
(जी हाँ आपन सही सुना उस समय ब्रहमा जी के पांच सर हुआ करते थे )

(Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/52424783137559026/?lp=true)

ब्रहमा जी का पांचवा सर काटने के महादेव पर ब्रह्महत्या का पाप चढ़ गया था| जिसके कारण ब्रहमा जी का कटा हुआ  सर भगवन शिव के दाएं हाथ से चिपक गया था| वे इससे छुटकारा पाने के लिए वे कालभैरव के रूप लेकर यहाँ से वह भटकने लगे| पर जब वे इस काशी (बनारस) आते हसी तब उनके हट से ब्रहमा जी का सर अपने आप अलग हो जाता है

(Source: http://masadiary.info/pages/r/rudra-shiva-wallpaper-life-ok/)

और वे पाप मुक्त हो जाते है | तब से उन्होंने काशी में  निवास कर लिया| इसलिए आज भी कहा जाता है  कि काशी भगवान शिव के त्रिशूल पे टिकी है |
वामन पुराण के आनुसार ये पता चलता है कि वरुणा और अस्सी नदी प्राचीन समय से यहाँ बहती है | उत्तर कि ओर वरुणा और दक्षिण कि ओर अस्सी | तो इस तरह इस शहर का नाम पड़ा वाराणसी |      

  • ·         इस शहर के दूसरा नाम  है काशी , काशी कश शब्द से निकलता है , जिसका मतलब है उज्जला |

  • ·         अविमुक्त , अनाद्कानन , सुदार्सना, रम्या ये सभी बनारस के ही नाम है |

जैसे कि एक प्रसिद्ध लेखक मार्क ट्वेन ने कहा है ;

 ‘बनारसइतिहास से पुराना, रीति रिवाजों से पुराना ,मान्यताओं से भी पुराना और देखने में इन सभी को मिलके दोगुना पुराना लगता है|